Who's Right?Can you skip a coworker's leaving party?
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In short
Yes, a leaving party is a friendly get-together and nobody can force you to go. Just let people know ahead of time and take a moment to say goodbye to the person leaving: that's what really matters.
Both sides
Jean-Marc is retiring, but I've run into him maybe three times in two years. He works on a different floor. The party is Friday at 6 pm, which is exactly when I pick up my son. I don't see why I should rearrange my evening for someone I barely know, and I don't want to be pushed into putting 20 euros in the collection either.
I'm organizing Jean-Marc's party, and he's given 22 years to this company. It's not a whole evening, just one hour to thank him. When half the team doesn't show up, the person leaving notices, and that's sad for a retirement. I think Malik could make a small effort, just this once.
The verdict
Malik is entitled to skip this party. He barely knows Jean-Marc, it takes place after work hours and he has a genuine family commitment. A leaving party is an invitation, not a duty, and chipping in for a gift is always up to each person.
Claire still has a fair point: a colleague leaving, especially after 22 years, deserves some kind of gesture. The issue isn't Malik's absence, it's the idea of vanishing without a word.
So Malik wins on substance, as long as he handles it gracefully: telling the organizer and saying goodbye to Jean-Marc in another way. Claire, for her part, would do better not to judge people who can't come, since everyone has their own constraints.
The compromise
Tomorrow, Malik tells Claire he won't be able to make it, then stops by Jean-Marc's desk during the day to shake his hand and wish him a happy retirement. If he wants to, he signs the card or adds a small amount to the collection, with no pressure.
Who do you think is right?
Pick a side.
Frequently asked questions
Is it rude not to go to a coworker's leaving party?
It can come across that way if you just don't turn up and say nothing. Letting people know in advance and saying goodbye to the person leaving is usually enough to avoid any awkwardness.
How do you politely decline a leaving party?
Say it simply and early, for example: "I can't make it on Friday, but I wanted to wish you all the best." There's no need for a long explanation.
Do you have to chip in for the gift if you don't go?
No, a collection is always optional. If you want to mark the occasion, a small amount or a few words on the card is more than enough.
Can you just drop by for a few minutes?
Yes, and it's often the best option. Ten minutes to raise a glass and say goodbye shows respect without upending your evening.
Guide Workplace disputes: the guide
Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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