Who's Right?Disputes between friends: the guide
This guide gathers the 15 situations in this category already settled on Who's Right. For each one: the short answer and a link to the full article with both sides, the verdict and the compromise.
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Money and lending
Friend never chips in for fuel: should you say so?
Yes, it's best to raise it early, simply and without blame: most people just don't think about it rather than taking advantage. Suggest a clear rule, like splitting fuel equally, before resentment builds up.
Splitting the bill equally when you ate less: fair?
Splitting the bill equally is fair when the gaps are small, but not when one person ends up paying a lot for others, especially for wine or desserts. The easiest fix is to say so before ordering, then pay your own share if the gap is big.
Friend never returns borrowed things: how to say it?
Bring it up early, in private and without blame: name the item, explain why you need it and suggest a specific day to pick it up. If it keeps happening, set a simple rule, like agreeing on a return date when you lend something.
Should you lend money to a friend?
Yes, if you can afford to lose that money without struggling or resenting your friend. If not, it is better to say no kindly or offer another kind of help, because a badly handled debt often damages a friendship.
Friendship etiquette
A friend spoiled my show's ending: is it a big deal?
It's not serious enough to question a friendship, but it is a real lack of care if your friend knew you hadn't finished. A show that just ended deserves protecting, while one that came out years ago much less so.
My friend is always late: how should I react?
Bring it up once, calmly, talking about how it affects you rather than about their personality, and suggest a simple rule: after 15 minutes with no message, you start without them. If nothing changes, plan meetups where waiting costs you nothing.
Cancelling plans an hour before: is it rude?
Cancelling an hour before isn't rude in itself if you have a real reason, but it becomes rude if you just send a quick text with no apology. What matters is telling them as soon as you know, calling if you can, and suggesting another date.
Not invited to a friend's wedding: should you be upset?
Feeling hurt is fair, but weddings come with budget, space and family constraints, so not being invited isn't necessarily a rejection. Before holding a lasting grudge, it's best to talk it through calmly with your friend.
Telling a friend's secret to your partner: betrayal?
Not always: many couples share everything, but a secret belongs first to the person who shares it. If your friend asked you to keep it quiet, passing it on without their consent, even to your partner, often feels like betrayal.
Other situations
Should you tell a friend their relationship is in trouble?
Yes, if you see clear signs that your friend is unhappy or being treated badly, but not to judge the relationship on their behalf. Talk about what you have noticed and how they feel, then let them decide: your role is to be there, not to rule.
Friend always asks for help moving: can you say no?
Yes, you can turn down a friend who asks for help moving without being a bad friend: friendship doesn't mean carrying boxes. What matters is saying no early and honestly, and offering another kind of help if you can.
Group gift: should you chip in if you disagree?
Usually, yes: a group gift is a gesture for the person being celebrated, especially if you had a chance to give your opinion. But nobody has to pay an amount they never agreed to: you can give less or offer something else, as long as you say so early.
Is liking your best friend's ex's photos a betrayal?
No, a like isn't a betrayal in itself: it's a small, often automatic gesture. But right after a painful breakup it can hurt, so it's better to talk about it openly than let the awkwardness grow.
Frequently asked questions
How many nights a week is too many?
There's no universal number, but beyond three or four nights, most roommates start to feel like they're living with an extra person. The real benchmark is what you've agreed on together.
From the article Roommate's boyfriend over every night: is that okay?
How do I ask a friend to pay for fuel without offending them?
Talk about the situation, not about them: mention the cost of fuel and suggest a concrete solution. A simple "Shall we split the fuel?" goes down much better than a complaint about the past.
From the article Friend never chips in for fuel: should you say so?
How long should you wait before discussing a show's ending?
There's no official rule. Many people stay careful for a few weeks after release, and always ask first if they know a friend is still watching.
From the article A friend spoiled my show's ending: is it a big deal?
How do you tell a friend their relationship seems toxic?
Avoid the word « toxic » and any judgement about their partner. Mention one specific thing you saw, say how it made you feel, then ask an open question like « How are you doing at the moment? ».
From the article Should you tell a friend their relationship is in trouble?
Should flatmates split shared shopping equally?
For things everyone uses, like toilet paper or washing-up liquid, an equal split is the simplest and fairest option. Food usually stays individual, unless you decide to cook together.
From the article Flatmates: who should buy the toilet paper?
Is it cheap to ask to pay only for what you ate?
No, as long as the gap is real and you ask simply. It's trickier over €2 or €3, which usually isn't worth the discussion.
From the article Splitting the bill equally when you ate less: fair?
How do I tell a friend they're always late without upsetting them?
Pick a calm moment, not right after they've kept you waiting. Talk about how you feel, like « I often end up waiting », rather than saying « you're always late ».
From the article My friend is always late: how should I react?
Is it selfish to refuse to help a friend move?
No. Everyone has physical limits, time constraints and priorities. A refusal mostly hurts when it comes late or without any explanation.
From the article Friend always asks for help moving: can you say no?
How do I ask a friend to return something without offending them?
Keep it factual and light: "Do you still have my drill? I need it on Saturday, can I come by and grab it?" A concrete reason and a date make the request feel natural, not like an accusation.
From the article Friend never returns borrowed things: how to say it?
How much notice should you give when cancelling plans?
As soon as you know you won't make it, even if it's early. For a dinner where the host is cooking, the day before or that morning gives them time to adjust, whereas an hour before, everything is already done.
From the article Cancelling plans an hour before: is it rude?
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