Who's Right?Is it OK to look at your partner's phone?
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In short
In France, secretly reading your partner's messages can count as violating the secrecy of correspondence. The penalty is harsher between spouses, cohabiting partners and PACS partners.
Both sides
For a month, Yasmine has been glued to her phone and flips it over whenever I walk in. I asked her several times if something was wrong, and she just said "nothing". One evening she left it unlocked on the sofa, so I read her latest messages. I'm not proud of it, but we live together and we're not supposed to keep secrets. I needed reassurance.
I was planning a surprise party for his 35th birthday with his friends, which is why I was hiding my screen. When I realised he'd read my messages, I felt betrayed. Being a couple doesn't mean everything I write belongs to him. There were also chats with my sister that are none of his business. If he had doubts, he could have asked me straight out instead of snooping.
The verdict
Julien's worry was real and understandable. He did try asking first, and Yasmine's secretive behaviour could easily be misread. Brushing him off with a flat "nothing" didn't help.
But reading someone's messages without their consent crosses a line, even if the phone is unlocked. Those conversations weren't only Yasmine's: her sister and their friends were read too without knowing it. And French law makes no exception for couples. If anything, it is stricter.
The real issue here is trust. Snooping doesn't fix it, it damages it on both sides. Julien should have said clearly what was bothering him, and Yasmine could have reassured him without giving the surprise away.
The compromise
Julien admits he was wrong to read the messages and promises not to do it again. In return, Yasmine agrees that whenever one of them feels shut out, they say so. The other then answers honestly, even if it's just "it's a surprise, trust me".
What the rules say
Article 226-15 of the French Criminal Code punishes opening mail addressed to other people, or reading it fraudulently, when done in bad faith. It also punishes intercepting, using or disclosing electronic correspondence (texts, emails, etc.). The penalty is one year in prison and a 45,000 euro fine. When the offender is the victim's spouse, cohabiting partner or PACS partner, it rises to two years and 60,000 euros. Being a couple therefore gives you no right to access the other person's messages.
Divorce cases are a separate question. In a ruling of 17 June 2009 about text messages, the Cour de cassation held that evidence in divorce cases can be provided by any means. A judge may only exclude evidence obtained through violence or fraud.
The French government guide on (cyber)violence in couples counts as cyber-surveillance installing spyware without the other person's knowledge, or demanding their usernames and passwords.
Sources:
- Article 226-15 - Code pénal - Légifrance (legifrance.gouv.fr)
- Cour de cassation, civile, Chambre civile 1, 17 juin 2009, 07-21.796, Publié au bulletin - Légifrance (legifrance.gouv.fr)
- Guide sur les (cyber)violences au sein du couple (egalite-femmes-hommes.gouv.fr)
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General information, not legal advice.
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Frequently asked questions
Is it illegal to go through your partner's phone?
In France, the Criminal Code punishes reading someone else's messages fraudulently and in bad faith. The penalty is heavier when the offender is a spouse, cohabiting partner or PACS partner. It depends on the circumstances, especially whether the other person agreed.
Can texts read in secret be used in a divorce?
In France, the Cour de cassation has held that evidence in divorce cases can be provided by any means. A judge only excludes it if it was obtained through violence or fraud. Every case is assessed on its own facts, so check with a lawyer about yours.
Do I have to give my partner my phone passcode?
No, nothing requires you to. The French government guide on cyber-violence in couples actually lists demanding the other person's passwords as a form of cyber-surveillance.
What should I do if I suspect my partner is hiding something?
Say what you've noticed, using concrete facts and without accusing. If the conversation gets stuck, a couples counsellor can help you talk again.
Is sharing passcodes in a couple a bad idea?
Not necessarily, as long as it's a free choice, it works both ways, and either of you can change your mind. The problem starts when it's forced or used to keep tabs on the other person.
Guide Couple disputes: the guide
Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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