Who's Right?Going out without your partner every weekend: too much?
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In short
Not necessarily: going out without your partner isn't a problem in itself, the imbalance is. If the other person feels left out or there's no time left for the two of you, it's worth talking it through and keeping some time just for the couple.
Both sides
Since I changed jobs, I'm exhausted during the week, and my friends are what keep me going. Yes, I go out with them on Saturday nights, but I'm not doing anything wrong and I always come home. Julien is welcome to join, he's the one who usually says he doesn't feel like it. I don't want to have to choose between my relationship and my friends.
I've got nothing against her friends, and I'm not asking her to stop seeing them. But we both work all week, and the weekend is the only time we could really be together. Right now it's every single Saturday, and on Sundays she's tired. I feel like I come last, and when I say so, she calls me jealous.
The verdict
Inès's need is completely legitimate. Keeping your friendships in a relationship is healthy, and having time for yourself helps when the week is hard. She's also right that Julien is invited: she isn't shutting him out on purpose.
But Julien's point matters most here: the problem isn't going out, it's how often. When the only shared free time goes elsewhere every week, there's almost nothing left for the couple. Feeling sidelined in that situation isn't jealousy, it's a signal worth listening to.
Julien has his part to play too, though. Saying "you go out too much" sounds like an accusation, while "I need some real time with you at the weekend" opens a conversation. Turning down every invitation and then complaining about being alone doesn't help either.
The compromise
This weekend, they sit down with a calendar and agree on a rhythm together, for example two Saturdays a month with friends and two weekends kept for the couple. Julien agrees to join now and then, and Inès sometimes suggests a night out together or having her friends over for dinner.
Who do you think is right?
Pick a side.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to want to go out without your partner?
Yes, it's actually quite healthy. Keeping your friends and hobbies helps you stay yourself and gives you things to share with each other. The key is that the relationship keeps its place too.
When does going out without your partner become too much?
There's no magic number. It becomes too much when one person regularly feels left out, or when time together almost disappears.
How do I tell my partner they go out too much without upsetting them?
Talk about how you feel rather than what they do: "I'd love to spend more time with you" lands better than "you're always out." Then suggest a specific plan for the two of you.
Should you always invite your partner when you go out with friends?
Not necessarily. Inviting them from time to time shows they're welcome, but some friends-only nights are normal too, as long as it's clear to both of you.
Guide Couple disputes: the guide
Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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