Who's Right?Couple disputes: the guide
This guide gathers the 16 situations in this category already settled on Who's Right. For each one: the short answer and a link to the full article with both sides, the verdict and the compromise.
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Money and spending
Should couples have a joint bank account?
No, it isn't required: it depends on your habits and your incomes. For many couples, the simplest setup is a joint account for shared costs, funded in proportion to each person's income, plus a personal account each.
Buying something expensive without telling your partner?
It isn't wrong in itself, especially with your own money. But above a certain amount, talking first protects trust: the simplest fix is to agree on a threshold above which you give each other a heads-up.
Should couples split costs 50/50 on unequal incomes?
Not necessarily: a 50/50 split weighs much more heavily on the partner who earns less. Many couples prefer to share joint costs in proportion to their incomes, and each keeps a personal budget.
Trust and habits
Is it OK to look at your partner's phone?
In France, secretly reading your partner's messages can count as violating the secrecy of correspondence. The penalty is harsher between spouses, cohabiting partners and PACS partners.
Can you stay in touch with your ex when in a relationship?
Yes, staying in touch with an ex is possible and common, as long as it's open and your current relationship comes first. If the friendship creates secrecy or lasting discomfort for your partner, talk about it and agree on limits together.
Watching an episode without your partner: betrayal?
It isn't a betrayal, but if you agreed to watch the show together, it's a small broken promise. The best move is to own up, apologize and set clear rules for next time.
Phone in bed every night: should couples ban it?
Banning phones in bed rarely works, because a rule imposed by one partner quickly breeds resentment. It works better to agree together on a screen-free window before sleep, while staying flexible on nights when one of you really needs it.
Chores and home life
Who should do the dishes in a couple?
There's no fixed rule: the dishes should be part of a fair overall split of chores that you agree on together. One simple principle works for many couples: whoever cooks doesn't wash up.
Who should get up to walk the dog in the morning?
Nobody is automatically in charge: a dog adopted together is a shared responsibility. The fairest way is to count every walk of the day, then split them according to each person's schedule.
Thermostat wars: what temperature should a couple set?
There is no perfect temperature: around 19 °C in living areas is a common benchmark, a little less in bedrooms. For a couple, the right setting is one where nobody shivers while the other worries about the bill.
Plans, friends and holidays
Going out without your partner every weekend: too much?
Not necessarily: going out without your partner isn't a problem in itself, the imbalance is. If the other person feels left out or there's no time left for the two of you, it's worth talking it through and keeping some time just for the couple.
Partner's birthday: who should pick the restaurant?
The person celebrating should mostly get the final say, because the dinner is meant for them. If the other wants to plan a surprise, they should pick a place based on the birthday person's tastes, not their own.
Inviting friends over without telling your partner: OK?
It isn't forbidden, but your home is shared: letting your partner know before inviting people is basic respect. Ideally, tell them early enough that they can say if it isn't a good time.
Holidays: with the in-laws or a trip for two?
Neither partner is right by default: holidays belong to the couple, not to one family. The fairest answer is to alternate or split the time, and to decide together well in advance.
Other situations
Forgetting your partner's birthday: is it a big deal?
Forgetting a birthday isn't a big deal in itself: it's usually a slip, not proof that you don't care. What matters is how you react afterwards, with a real apology and a thoughtful gesture, and making sure it doesn't happen every year.
My partner snores: separate bedrooms or not?
Sleeping apart isn't a failure: good sleep protects the relationship too. But it should be a joint decision, made after trying other fixes and getting loud snoring checked by a doctor.
Frequently asked questions
How do you split costs when you don't earn the same?
Many couples split in proportion to income: if one partner earns 60% of the household total, they cover 60% of shared costs. That way, both keep roughly the same amount left over each month.
From the article Should couples have a joint bank account?
Is it illegal to go through your partner's phone?
In France, the Criminal Code punishes reading someone else's messages fraudulently and in bad faith. The penalty is heavier when the offender is a spouse, cohabiting partner or PACS partner. It depends on the circumstances, especially whether the other person agreed.
From the article Is it OK to look at your partner's phone?
Should the person who cooks also do the dishes?
It isn't required, but many couples choose the opposite: the cook rests while the other washes up. It's simple, clear and both people contribute to the meal.
From the article Who should do the dishes in a couple?
Is it normal to want to go out without your partner?
Yes, it's actually quite healthy. Keeping your friends and hobbies helps you stay yourself and gives you things to share with each other. The key is that the relationship keeps its place too.
From the article Going out without your partner every weekend: too much?
Does forgetting your partner's birthday mean you don't love them?
Not necessarily. A one-off slip usually comes down to stress or a busy period. Repeated forgetting, with no apology, is what should raise a flag.
From the article Forgetting your partner's birthday: is it a big deal?
How much should you spend before telling your partner?
There's no universal number: it depends on your income and your plans. What matters is deciding it together, calmly, rather than discovering afterwards that you each had a different limit in mind.
From the article Buying something expensive without telling your partner?
Is it normal to feel jealous of your partner's ex?
Yes, it's a common reaction, especially early in a relationship. The most helpful thing is to say exactly what worries you rather than banning contact or checking up on them.
From the article Can you stay in touch with your ex when in a relationship?
Should the person who wanted the dog do everything?
No, not if the adoption was a joint decision. The one who wanted the dog can take on a bit more at first, but the load should then be shared.
From the article Who should get up to walk the dog in the morning?
Should you always plan a surprise for your partner's birthday?
No. Some people love surprises, others would rather choose. The easiest fix is to ask once what your partner prefers.
From the article Partner's birthday: who should pick the restaurant?
Is sleeping in separate rooms bad for a relationship?
Not necessarily. Many couples sleep apart and stay very close. What matters is talking about it openly and keeping moments of intimacy and affection.
From the article My partner snores: separate bedrooms or not?
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Written with the help of AI · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
