Who's Right?Holidays: with the in-laws or a trip for two?
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In short
Neither partner is right by default: holidays belong to the couple, not to one family. The fairest answer is to alternate or split the time, and to decide together well in advance.
Both sides
My parents live in the Ardèche and I only see them twice a year. My dad had some health problems last year, and I can feel time slipping by. Summer is the only time we can really be together without rushing. Plus it costs us almost nothing, while a trip means a real budget. I don't see why that would be time wasted.
I like Karim's parents, that's not the issue. But we've spent two weeks there three summers in a row, and we never actually talked about it: it just became the default. I need holidays that are just ours, to reconnect and discover something new. At his parents' place I rest, but it doesn't feel like a holiday with my partner.
The verdict
The real problem isn't the in-laws, it's that the choice was made out of habit, without a proper conversation. Three summers in the same place is a decision that made itself. Camille is right to put it back on the table: time as a couple matters, and her wish is completely fair.
Karim also has a strong point: ageing parents, fragile health, few chances to see them. That's not a whim. However, « it costs nothing » and « we've always done it this way » are weaker arguments, because they ignore how Camille feels.
Camille comes out slightly ahead because she isn't asking to stop the visits, only for them to stop being the only option. The right answer isn't one or the other, but a split you choose together.
The compromise
Split the summer: one week at Karim's parents, then about ten days travelling as a couple, somewhere nearby if the budget is tight. Agree on the plan together in spring, and offer his parents an extra visit in the autumn to make up for it.
Who do you think is right?
Pick a side.
Frequently asked questions
How do I tell my partner I don't want to spend every holiday at their parents' place?
Talk about your need, not about their parents: « I'd love some time just for us » lands better than « I can't stand going to your parents' anymore ». Pick a calm moment, well before any planning.
Is it normal to want holidays without the in-laws?
Yes, it's very common and it isn't a rejection. Couples need time of their own to reconnect, especially when daily life is busy.
How do we share holidays between both families?
Many couples alternate from year to year, or split the periods: summer for one family, the end-of-year holidays for the other. What matters is deciding together and early.
What if we can't afford to travel?
A trip for two doesn't have to be far away: a few days camping, staying with friends or visiting a nearby region is enough for a change of scene. What counts is the time together, not the destination.
Can we go on holiday separately?
Yes, if you both genuinely choose it and it isn't a way to dodge the conflict. A few days apart can even do you good, as long as you also keep holidays together.
Guide Couple disputes: the guide
Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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