Who's Right?Phone in bed every night: should couples ban it?
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In short
Banning phones in bed rarely works, because a rule imposed by one partner quickly breeds resentment. It works better to agree together on a screen-free window before sleep, while staying flexible on nights when one of you really needs it.
Both sides
Every night it's the same: we get into bed and Yasmine is on her phone for an hour. I'd love for us to talk a bit and reconnect, but it feels like I'm talking to a screen. I don't want to police her. I just want our bed to be a place for the two of us again, so yes, I'd like us to leave our phones out of the bedroom.
My days are long, and in the evening, watching videos or catching up on messages is my only way to unwind. I'm not doing it against Julien, I just need to switch off before sleeping. Being told what I can't do in my own bed feels childish. I'm willing to make an effort, but I won't have my phone confiscated.
The verdict
Julien is pointing to a real issue. An hour of screen time every night means an hour less to talk and reconnect. Bedtime is often one of the few quiet moments a couple shares, and it makes sense that he wants to protect it. His request is about connection, not control.
Yasmine is right about one thing: a ban set by one partner can quickly feel like a punishment. Her need to unwind is legitimate. But a screen isn't the only way to relax, and the habit has ended up taking over the whole evening.
So Julien has the stronger point on substance: there's an imbalance to fix. But the answer shouldn't be a total ban. It should be a rule you choose together.
The compromise
Starting tonight, agree on a set time: phones are fine until then, and the last 20 to 30 minutes before sleep are screen-free, for talking or reading. Charge your phones out of reach of the bed, and allow an exception on nights when one of you genuinely needs it.
Who do you think is right?
Pick a side.
Frequently asked questions
Is it bad to look at your phone in bed every night?
Not in itself, but it becomes a problem if your partner feels lonely or ignored. The real warning sign is when the screen consistently replaces conversation.
How do I ask my partner to put their phone down in bed without a fight?
Talk about how you feel rather than what they do wrong, for example "I'd like some time with you" instead of "you're always on your phone". Pick a calm moment, not the minute they're scrolling.
Should phones stay out of the bedroom?
It works well if you both agree, with a regular alarm clock for the morning. If one of you really resists, a simple screen-free window before sleep can be enough.
What if my partner refuses to make any effort?
Try to understand what the phone gives them at that moment: relaxation, an escape from stress, some time alone? Offering an alternative that meets the same need works better than a ban.
Guide Couple disputes: the guide
Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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