Who's Right?Can parents read their teen's messages?
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In short
In France, no law clearly allows or forbids parents to read their teen's messages. Parents must protect their child, including their privacy, in line with age and maturity.
Both sides
For three weeks, Théo has barely eaten, slept badly and spent every evening shut in his room. I asked him several times what was wrong, and he always said "nothing". I was scared he was being bullied, or worse. So I picked up his phone while he was in the shower. I'm his mother and he's 15: protecting him is my job, even if he doesn't see it that way.
My mum secretly read my chats, even the ones with my friends and with a girl I like. I'm not doing anything dangerous. There are just things I don't want to talk about. If she was worried, she could have told me straight out instead of going through my phone. Now I don't want to talk to her at all, and I've changed my passcode.
The verdict
Karima's worry is justified. A teenager who stops eating and withdraws is showing real warning signs, and she tried talking to him first. Parents have a duty to protect their children, so wanting to understand what is going on is not abusive.
The problem is how she did it. By secretly reading everything, including chats unrelated to the danger she feared, Karima went further than she needed to. At 15, privacy matters more and more. The result: trust is damaged and Théo is shutting down even more, which makes it harder for his mother to help him.
Théo is right on the main point, but he shouldn't brush off his mother's concern. The signs that something is wrong are real, and as long as he refuses to talk, she is left alone with her fear. He can say what's wrong without sharing every detail.
The compromise
Tonight, Karima tells Théo what worried her and apologises for reading his messages behind his back. Together they set a clear rule: no more secret reading, but if something truly worries Karima, she says so and they look at the relevant messages together. Parental controls are limited to screen time, and Théo knows about them.
What the rules say
No law states exactly whether a parent may read a minor child's messages. The general framework is Article 371-1 of the French Civil Code. It defines parental authority as a set of rights and duties whose purpose is the child's best interests. It belongs to the parents until the child comes of age or is emancipated, so they can protect the child's safety, health, privacy and morality, with due respect for the child as a person. The reference to privacy was added by a law of 19 February 2024. The same article states that parental authority is exercised without physical or psychological violence, and that parents involve the child in decisions that affect them, according to their age and maturity.
In its recommendations on parental controls, the CNIL (France's data protection authority) presents these tools as a way to protect children online. However, it warns against very intrusive features, such as access to conversations, which can make a child feel constantly watched. It sets out two principles. Proportionality: take into account the child's interests, age and maturity. Transparency: clearly explain to the child how the controls work. These are recommendations, not a ban written into law.
Sources:
- Article 371-1 - Code civil - Légifrance (legifrance.gouv.fr)
- Recommandation 5 : promouvoir des outils de contrôle parental respectueux de la vie privée et de l’intérêt de l’enfant (cnil.fr)
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General information, not legal advice.
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Frequently asked questions
Do teenagers have a right to privacy from their parents?
Yes. Since 2024, the French Civil Code says parents must protect their child's privacy. They must also involve the child in decisions that affect them, according to their age and maturity.
Can I install a parental control app on my teen's phone?
The CNIL sees parental controls as a protection tool. It recommends keeping them suited to the child's age and warns against very intrusive features, such as reading conversations.
Should I tell my child I'm monitoring their phone?
The CNIL recommends clearly telling the child what controls are in place. In practice, monitoring the child knows about damages trust far less than surveillance they discover by accident.
At what age should parents stop monitoring?
French law sets no specific age. Parental authority lasts until the child comes of age, but it must take the child's maturity into account. Monitoring should therefore decrease as the child grows up.
What should I do if I think my teen is in danger?
Start by telling them honestly what worries you, and offer to look at the problem together. If they won't talk and the signs continue, get help from their school or a health professional.
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Written with the help of AI, reviewed by the Who's Right team · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
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