Who's Right?Family disputes: the guide
This guide gathers the 15 situations in this category already settled on Who's Right. For each one: the short answer and a link to the full article with both sides, the verdict and the compromise.
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Money in the family
Adult child living at home: should they pay rent?
Nothing forces them to, but once they have a steady income, chipping in for household costs is fair and healthy. The amount should stay reasonable and take their plans into account, such as saving to move out.
Do parents have to pay for their children's studies?
In France, yes: each parent must contribute to their child's upkeep and education according to their means, and this duty doesn't end at 18. It lasts as long as the child can't support themselves, for example while studying.
Brother never pays back money you lent: what to do?
Talk to him directly and calmly, with a clear amount and date, instead of letting resentment build up. Suggest a small, realistic monthly repayment, and don't lend again until the debt is settled.
Pocket money: should you give it, and how much?
Yes, pocket money helps children learn to manage money, make choices and be patient, often from around age 6 or 7. Regularity matters more than the amount: a small fixed sum, suited to their age and to what it has to cover, raised gradually over time.
Who pays for a parent's care home in France?
In France, the parent pays first, out of their own resources. If that isn't enough, their children (and sometimes sons- or daughters-in-law) must help according to their means, and the département can cover the rest through housing aid (ASH).
Grandparents, in-laws and holidays
In-laws dropping by unannounced: what do you say?
It's best for the partner whose parents they are to raise it, kindly and with a clear request, like 'please text us before you come over.' The goal isn't to shut the door, but to agree on one simple rule as a couple.
Should you make a child visit their grandparents?
You can ask a child to see their grandparents regularly, as long as you adapt the length and the activities so they feel part of it. If they show discomfort or fear, listen first and find out why before insisting.
Grandparents spoiling the kids: should you step in?
Yes, but gently: parents set the rules, and a few clear limits on sugar, screens and gifts are worth raising calmly. There is no need to control everything, though, because a little spoiling at grandma's is part of the bond.
Christmas at my parents' or yours: how to choose?
The fairest approach is usually to alternate each year and decide together in the autumn, not in December. An exception can make sense for a rare event, as long as you talk about it openly and make it up to the other family.
Children and parenting
What age should a child get a phone?
There is no magic age: it depends on the child's real needs and maturity. Many families start with a basic phone around the start of middle school and wait longer for a smartphone with internet access.
Baby crying at night: who should get up?
Nobody should carry it all alone: night wake-ups are a shared job, taking into account breastfeeding, work and how tired each parent is. The best approach is a clear plan you agree on together, during the day.
Should you make a child finish their plate?
No, forcing a child to clean their plate is usually not a good idea: it creates tension and can blur their sense of hunger. It's better to serve small portions and ask them to taste everything, without turning it into a fight.
Can you post photos of your kids on social media?
In France, it isn't banned, but both parents must jointly protect their child's image rights and involve the child according to age and maturity. If they disagree, a judge can bar one parent from posting without the other's consent.
Other situations
Inherited family home: keep it or sell it?
In France, no heir can be forced to stay in joint ownership: anyone can ask for the estate to be divided at any time, unless a court ruling or an agreement says otherwise. Keeping the house takes everyone's agreement and a plan for costs.
Should a 15-year-old be allowed out at night?
Often yes, but not without a plan: at 15, a night out works best with a known address, a clear curfew and a safe way home. It's wise to go step by step, based on how mature your teen is and the trust you've already built.
Frequently asked questions
How much should you ask an adult child living at home to pay?
There's no perfect figure. A good starting point is what they really cost the household (food, energy, water) rather than market rent. A modest share of their salary, agreed together, usually goes down better.
From the article Adult child living at home: should they pay rent?
Who should talk to the in-laws: me or my partner?
Usually it's best if it's their own child. They know how their parents react and the message goes down more easily. The other partner can be there, but the request should come from the couple, not just one person.
From the article In-laws dropping by unannounced: what do you say?
Should a first phone be a basic phone or a smartphone?
A basic phone is enough for calling and checking in with parents, without unlimited access to the internet and social media. It is often a good first step before a smartphone.
From the article What age should a child get a phone?
Can one heir block the sale of the house?
Not forever. In France, heirs holding at least two thirds of the shares can ask a court to order the sale. Any heir can also ask for the estate to be divided at any time, unless a court ruling or an agreement prevents it.
From the article Inherited family home: keep it or sell it?
Until what age must parents support their child?
The Civil Code sets no age. The duty doesn't end automatically at 18: it lasts as long as the child can't support themselves, for example while studying, training or looking for work.
From the article Do parents have to pay for their children's studies?
At what age should a child get to decide?
There's no set age. As children grow, they can negotiate how often or how long they visit, without necessarily questioning the relationship itself.
From the article Should you make a child visit their grandparents?
Should the parent who works the next day be excused from night duty?
Not entirely. Looking after a baby during the day is exhausting too. You can lighten their nights before a demanding day, as long as they make up for it at another time, such as the weekend.
From the article Baby crying at night: who should get up?
At what age can a teenager go out at night?
There's no magic age: it depends on the teen's maturity, the place and who's supervising. Many families start around 14 or 15 with parties at friends' homes and a planned ride back.
From the article Should a 15-year-old be allowed out at night?
How do I ask my brother for money back without a fight?
Pick a calm moment, just the two of you, and stick to facts: the amount and the date he promised. Ask what he can repay each month rather than demanding it all at once.
From the article Brother never pays back money you lent: what to do?
How do I tell grandparents they spoil the kids too much?
Start by thanking them for their help, then talk about the concrete effects you notice rather than criticising. Suggest a few clear rules and ask for their opinion.
From the article Grandparents spoiling the kids: should you step in?
All the verdicts in this category
Written with the help of AI · This is not legal advice. How Who's Right decides
